So, I’m not a lawyer. I don’t even play one on television. But I do watch a lot of Judge Judy. (Yes, she’s awful. She has antiquated views on femininity, teenagers, and marriage. And she’s pretty inconsistent in how she tries her cases, excuse me, binding arbitrations.) And here is what I’ve learned:
- If you are buying a used car not from a dealership, take it to a mechanic first. No matter what the seller says about the state of the car.
- If you are buying or selling ANYTHING, write out a contract.
- Get a receipt and save it.
- Don’t pay cash for anything important.
- Don’t lend money to romantic partners.
- If you are lending money to someone, make sure you have some sort of condition when the person will pay you back (at the end of the month, when they get their tax return, when the Cubs win the World Series) and not just “whenever they can”.
- If you are a woman, you are allowed one drink at a bar. No more.
- If you’re co-habitating with a romantic partner and you aren’t married (aka “playing house”), don’t expect the courts to help you sort out your mutual belongings.
- Don’t let your teenagers borrow your car.
- If someone sues you, adding on a countersuit as retribution won’t get you very far.
- If you’re in the process of getting a divorce, don’t sue anyone.
- Judges don’t make phone calls (except when they do).
- Bring every scrap of paper in your house that was generated during the time period that your suit covers, just in case.
- If you’re a deadbeat father, things aren’t going to go well for you.
- If you did something legally dubious which then created the situation which lead to your lawsuit, best to just drop it.
Did I miss anything? Comment below with your favorite (or least favorite) Judge Judy lessons!