As the weather starts to cool and the leaves start to change, I have a sudden craving for a good scary story. I stalk Buzzfeed, BookRiot, Goodreads looking for a recommendation. I read dozens of plot summaries on Amazon. And then I buy more books than I can possibly read. All in search of a book that will make my blood run cold and send a chill down my spine.
But, so often, I get partway through one of these books and have to abandon it. Almost always for the same reason, as well. The author brought their monster out into the open. And, in doing so, took away all suspense and spookiness.
*Spoilers Ahead* You have been warned.
Adam Neville’s “The Ritual” is my favorite example. If you are unfamiliar with the book (or it’s Netflix adaptation), let me summarize the plot. A group of friends go hiking in Scandanavia (Norway, I believe, but it’s been a while). They get lost in the oldest parts of a forest and something seems to be following them. Then they start disappearing. The first half is tantalizingly creepy.
I was reading this while camping, which added an extra layer of tension. I was all in on this book. It was soaring to the top of my list of favorite horror novels. It was doing all the right things and doing them exceptionally well. I could hear the crack of branches. I could feel eyes on me. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up.
And then the monster steps out of the woods and into the clearing. In full daylight. It was some Norse god/demon thing with antlers. It was corporeal. Which means it could be bested. And thus, any fear I had of it went *poof*.
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be scared of semi-immortal demigods, but when the first two hundred pages have been built on not seeing the thing that’s following you, to suddenly see it breaks that spell. The fear is in the unknown. In the shadows. In looking over your shoulder and knowing something is there but not being able to identify it. The psychological torture of “Is this really happening or is it all in my head”. And once you bring your monster into the light, all of that goes away.
Another example. I don’t remember the name of the book exactly, as I listened to it on Audible. But it was one of Darcy Coates “Haunting Of” books. The premise looked spectacular, right up my alley. A young woman and her cat move into an old mansion on a hill that was inherited from a heretofore unheard of relative. The townspeople avoid the place and there’s some gruesome event from the past that isn’t spoken of, but is alluded to in vague ways.
And then things start happening. Scraping sounds on the walls. The power going off mysteriously. A candle in the attic that has to be lit every Friday night. And it’s done brilliantly.
Until the magically un-dead great-aunt appears during broad daylight. There’s some half-hearted attempt to explain the magic behind it all. But, once again, all tension is gone. The zombie-aunt chases the young woman around the property and I hear Yakety Sax playing. I gave up on that book not much after, so I don’t know how it ends. Maybe zombie aunt pulls out a win, but probably not.
I’m currently reading Cherie Priest’s The Toll. This has less of the mystery in the shadows vibe than the others. It’s more magical realism mixed with Southern Gothic. But I’m about halfway through and I can see the path ahead. Two characters are on their way into the swamp to confront the monster that’s been preying on their town. And I’m dreading that moment, but not for the reason the author probably wants me to. I’m dreading it because whatever tension the book has created thus far will likely be drained out like a swimming pool after Labor Day.
Now, it can be done. Stephen King’s The Shining keeps it’s cards close to it’s chest. Sure, you see incarnations of the “big evil” that lurks behind every corner of The Overlook Hotel, but there’s forever the mystery of what exactly it is. And maybe other people like the monster-hunting style of the books cited above. That’s fine. But if you want to write something that will scare the pants off your readers and keep them up for nights to come, here is my advice:
1. Don’t show your monster. Ever. Keep it in the shadows. Don’t reveal all of it’s secrets. Whether ghost, demon, spirit, zombie, serial killer.
2. If you have to reveal it at some point, keep it to the very end of the book. This can be especially impactful if it’s in the closing words as a “you didn’t kill the thing, it’s still out there somewhere” kind of deal.
3. Play up the senses other than sight. Scraping on walls. Branches breaking. Footsteps on an uninhabited upper floor. Doors slamming. The smell of death. The taste of sulfur.
4. Remember that most of us retain some fear of darkness even into adulthood. And being alone in the dark, especially. Take the light away from your characters and it goes out for your readers as well.
5. Give some breaks in the tension, but as the book goes on, these breaks should get shorter and fewer. Ratchet up the tension incrementally.
Have any suggestions of books that do this well? Drop them below! And Happy Haunting!
